Redlight Visions Redux
The stench of failure is all around me. What can I say? I like doing these rejected themes. Anyone who has ever read this blog will know that I'm a big fan of things that are pointless. It is to that effect that I present part three, or III, of my redlight study. Here are two recently rejected themes that would have been great to see. I'm sick of your attitudes. Grown men acting like children!
Lost Theme 5: Updated Versions of Norman Rockwell Paintings You don't own Fark.
We just had an art contest, so I guess that's why this one got shot down. It's just as well no one even tried. They would have faced certain defeat at the hands of my unstoppable powerhouse, a repurposing of "Crackers in Bed."
As you can see, I have created a Cliché Crossover, the most unbeatable kind of winning Fark entry known to man. By using the two most hilarious Fark Clichés, I have created a transcendent piece of classic humor. The best part is that by only spending 15 minutes on its construction, I gave myself more time to bask in its brilliance. Like my ex-girlfriend used to say, "just hurry up and finish, I have to get back to work."
Lost Theme 6: What does an Asshat look like?
I'm not sure if this theme has unlimited potential, but I can think of at least one possible contest pic. Can you guess my concept? I'll give you a hint: he's the biggest ass I know. Give up? Scroll down, Gentle Reader...
Get it? Ass hat? Asshat? Well screw you, then. You don't know enough about humor to understand why this is funny. Your fucking blog sucks.
Stay tuned for more elitist dismissals from the Doctor!
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
Rejected Themes Part III
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19 comments:
Another one of my lost themes from a while back was "Trolling throughout the Ages".
Just as well that went red. People get weird about being called trolls. "Troll" is like the N-word of the Internets.
time to pull back the curtain doc.
Or call it a day.
Whats it going to be?
Cheers,
OLAP
Not sure if you're the real Olap or the one who was socking him, but I'll try my best to respond regardless. Why should I reveal myself? Because everyone discovered who the "Critic" was? Again?
I can't believe people want to know my identity. I didn't think anyone besides the Critic cared. Rest assured, I'm no one you know.
I don't feel like stopping this blog, either. TSZ isn't going to stop, so why should I?
I'm not a big fan of level playing fields, and I sure as hell don't go for truces. A cease-fire only allows the enemy time to reload.
I admire the PSers with the guts to reveal their Fark identities. I really do. But I can't be one of them. I'm sorry if this is where we part ways.
Yours Anonymously,
The Doctor
Here are a few of the rejected themes for today:
Photoshop other warning messages for the new Volvos driver alert systems
Did you know they're owned by Ford now?
Photoshop theme: Literal depictions of song or album titles
Too similar to a recent contest. However if they'd approved this one, it might have gone public on a week day and actually gotten some votes.
PS Theme "Well that doesn't belong there..."
I have a couple ideas for this one...
Aw, screw it. Let's Photoshop some more potential movies made from old skewl video games
Movie themes tend to be popular, but I think some people complained that the recent "Cartoon Movie" and "Toy Movie" themes were too similar.
Photoshop your own picture warning for cigarette packages
We just did this one a month or so ago.
I have an idea for a thread.
I'm somewhere where I don't know where I am.
P.S.
Only reveal yourself when the time is right.
Don't eat the unprocessed fish sticks.
How about,
I'm going in
nahh, its the real me. a quick email to my gmail... dang that's how i roll... would reveal that.
anyways, I always post as me. Not sure why some scrub decided to tag my moniker, unless something I said got stuck in their craw.
which seems to be something I do better than shopping. Pissing people off that is.
Not a parting of the ways, just a little bemused.
Hello Bill. I'm sorry for your bemusement. I've thought alot on whether or not I should reveal myself, and the fact is that I just don't want the attention. Even if some people agree with my bizzare methods, there are a lot of people who think I'm a pathetic loser or whatever. Well, they're probably right. What can I say? I'm just a guy who hates TSZ, aka "The Critic." Pissing him off is like a sport to me. This blog is my personal "Fuck Off" to him. I'm not going to go into a bunch a whiny bitching about why. Let's just say that during his travels, Critty Boy made a huge mistake. He pissed off someone who will hate him until the day he dies.
I regret the confusion I have caused amongst my fellow shoppers by taking this cowardly path.
Critty Boy made a huge mistake. He pissed off someone who will hate him until the day he dies.
Yeah. Brian O'Blivion. If that e-mail the Critic-ass reposted was real then holy shit. Brian O is a few gleams short of a lens flare, if you know what I mean.
Did anyone else get a serial killer vibe from what he wrote?
Well, I can say one thing... that letter was the most intelligently written thing ever posted on TFPSTC.
lol bone chilling
Yeah. Brian O'Blivion. If that e-mail the Critic-ass reposted was real then holy shit. Brian O is a few gleams short of a lens flare, if you know what I mean.
Did anyone else get a serial killer vibe from what he wrote?
Yes. I thought I was the only one. He comes across as a psychopath.
Anyone wanting to help resurect the Voltron theme click this link...
Yeah. Brian O'Blivion. If that e-mail the Critic-ass reposted was real then holy shit. Brian O is a few gleams short of a lens flare, if you know what I mean.
Did anyone else get a serial killer vibe from what he wrote?
Yes. I thought I was the only one. He comes across as a psychopath.
no, he comes across yet another internet prick. and a bully. The kind you waste some energy getting pissed of that people like that a) actually exist and b) are so wrapped up in themselves and their shallow little lives that they feel a need to spew such vitriol.
Then you stop and re read it all and realize that according to Neil (and Bob) there's a whole posse of minded individuals that hang out on Fark.
Then you just feel sad.
This info about BO'B should not be any surprise to anyone who reads the PSAEF. For years I thought BO'B was a totally cool dude. He certainly is friendly to most.
But then, for no apparent reason he said Andy Iceprey was a cliche-using hack. I couldn't believe it because 1) Andy only occasionally used cliche's (and usually cleverly...which is universally deemed 'OK'), 2) Because B'OB also uses cliches, and not always cleverly (floor dog is watching you masticate? Lordy.), and 3) because anyone who kicked everyone's ass in the contests is hardly a hack.
So I called BO'B on his bullshit and hypocritical attack, and now that makes me 'an easily manipulated groupie' of Andy Iceprey.
But Andy realized what was really bothering BO'B. It's because he was getting his ass kicked by him. BO'B takes this shit very seriously and is hyper-competitive about it. (how sad). And he just couldn't stand the thought of this newbie PSer coming in and laying beating his ass and getting all the attention. He's OK with Elle and Dali's Llama beating them, because they are a different type of shopper..the artist type. But Andy was a better shopper, and funnier than BO'B, and his reaction was to denigrate him.
All you have to do is read that e-mail to understand this. For god's sake, the guy was bragging about being #1 on the 2-week list, as a sign of being a great photoshopper. That's pretty damn stupid when if you look 2 columns over, TheSniperZero is 7 spots AHEAD of BO'B on the All-Time list. Hoisted on his own dumbass pitard.
I guess the fact that I've been beating BO'B regularly for the past year probably is another thing that put me in his doghouse.
So I think it was pretty dumb for TSZ to post that e-mail. It's the pot calling the kettle black. Both of them have acted like douchebags, but at least everyone knows the truth behind the nice-guy veneers.
Thank you, HYH, for explaining your side of the conflict.
I won't pick sides because I get dominated by all parties involved. Therefore I hate all of you. You damn vote-getting bastards. :)
All you have to do is read that e-mail to understand this. For god's sake, the guy was bragging about being #1 on the 2-week list, as a sign of being a great photoshopper.
I don't think that was what he meant. I think he was implying that DESPITE the Critic's assault, BO'B still topped the charts.
I don't fault Mr O'Blivion at all for writing that letter. However, whether he was responding to an actual threat or merely a percieved threat is debatable.
I don't think that was what he meant. I think he was implying that DESPITE the Critic's assault, BO'B still topped the charts.
You think? Then explain these bon mots:
I bet you wish that was you up there, don't you? But it's not, because you're not good enough at Photoshop..
Up there, meaning #1 on the 2-week list.
100 hits on your sad blog count for O votes on the Scrutinizer or HR. You can pretend that you are popular as you answer the trickle of pointless, illiterate suck-up emails you get from hacks you secretly can't stand, but you're not popular. Since you can't top the charts...
Again, topping the chart is a measure of popularity and worth.
This, plus his bloated ramblings on his profile about winning in Fark PS contests (historians will look back one day at PS winners?...oh boy) is plenty proof of his obsession with winning these contests.
You don't have to take side Doctor. You can choose neither. TSZ and BO'B are both good (not great) photoshoppers. They deserve credit for that. But personally, they've both acted like douchebags. There are no winners in that pissing match.
I just think it's sad when people think they "lost" if they don't end up in the top spot, or even the top five. If you got ANY votes you are a winner. You created something that someone else thought was worthy.
And if two 'shoppers compete for the top spot, the second place finisher is not a loser. He is the winner of second place. And he should be thankful for that, b/c he could have easily been third. There's lots of us "competing," so to narrow the field by 99% seems a bit capricious to me.
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