Setting Up

Trackballs: Worth the Money?

If you're going to compete in a Fark PS contest, you'd better have the right tools for the job. Don't let the salesman at your local electronics warehouse talk you into a Wacom. You'll never be able to create anything decent with one of those. You need to locate a trackball. You know what I'm talking about? They're like an upside down mouse. DO NOT TURN IT UPSIDE DOWN. Or wait, maybe you're supposed to. Whatever.

The Proper Enviornment

Photoshopping requires a free mind, and a free mind requires a free workspace. Locate a room or partioned area at least 4x5. Make sure to keep it clear of living insects. Here's a hint: If you keep enough trash on the floor, you won't even be able to see the roaches. Out of site, out of mind.

Begin

Go to Fark.com's contest page . View the headlines. DO NOT CLICK ON THE PICTURE LINKS! You aren't ready yet. Once you've seen a headline, you should start to get an idea. Click the picture link so you can be dissapointed with whatever got greenlighted. Then go off to your blog and bitch about how the quality of Fark has declined.

Go Fuel Yourself

At this point, you're probably hungry. Go get in your car and drive to McDonald's. You might want to switch to a laptop so you can continue reading this blog without having to drag your desktop all the way there.

Take a Nap

All Fark Photoshoppers, every single one, takes a nap before he/she photoshops. Nothing like a 16 hour nap to get the creative juices flowing. If you still don't have an idea when you wake up, just go back to sleep. Repeat until your muscles atrophy.

Stay tuned for more helpful hints from the Doctor!