Welcome

People frequently ask me, "Doctor, how can I become a better photoshopper?" Well, ok, no one has asked me that, but if they ever do, I will tell them that the secret involves many complex principles, all of which I will expound on here.
hahahahaha made you look!
The right software for the job
Two words: MSPaint. Oh wait that's one word. At any rate, it's a word you need to learn. Go to your local compter software store and ask the clerk about the newest version of MSPaint. Accept no substitutes.
you fucking SUCK dude!
Compile a list of enemies
You're not going anywhere without a good list of enemies. Anyone who posts in a Fark contest is a threat to your precious vote average. Discredit them at every oppurtunity.
I'll never tell you who I am.
Huff paint
It gives you great ideas.
I have a pretty good idea who Boner is.
Jack off to pictures of Macauly Caulkin
It worked for the Fark Photoshop Thread Critic. He told me once that it's the secret of his power. Personally I don't want to win that badly.
Can't wait to confirm it. LOLz!
Create 200 alternate accounts
200 accounts means 200 votes. Way more than enough to ensure victory. For details consult TFPTC.
Here is a hint: you are a worthless turd.
Purchase some Vagina Sand
This can be obtained at Homo Depot. Make sure to get the extra fine grain variety. Cram about six pounds up your vagina/mangina. This will aid you in forming opinions about people's work.
LOL Blogger.
Stay tuned for further advice from the Doctor!