Farkout

What to do during a Fark Outage

Hello there, crickets and trolls. Fark has been having some major problems lately, and I feel sorry for those of you who don't have a petty Internet feud and longstanding rivalry to fall back on. I also feel sorry for anyone whose contest goes live during one of these blackout periods. You guys are fucked. Feel free to register your dismay amongst the "who cares?" and "fuck you!" masses of Totalfark Discussion. Or send some crudely-phrased Farkbacks.

Meanwhile, I have compiled a handy list of activities for you to busy yourselves with during the next outage.

1. Go somewhere else. Believe it or not, Fark isn't the only site on the Internet. Just the only one that matters.
2. Write your congressman. Better not spill any flour on the envelope.
3. Find someone you don't like and start a protracted blog war. Don't forget to be petty!
4. Send threatening letters to Drew. Signed, TheSniperZERO.
5. Get over it. You will.

That's all for now, gentle reader. I hope this list serves you well. These days, you never know when a Fark outage will strike. Since management is too busy fucking with the "preview" button, I doubt they will offer much of an apology for service interruptions. That would be like asking TheSniperZERO to apologize to the people he dumped on and insulted. A nice idea, but don't hold your breath waiting for it to happen. Unless you're Boner.

Stay tuned for more laughable demands from the Doctor!