A Friendly Chat: Part I

Sock it to Me

Hello there, crickets and trolls. As you all know, I recently introduced a chat room to the Clinic. There was no way I could have anticipated the response. Clinic Chat is fast becoming our most popular feature. At least with TheSniperZERO. The portion I am presenting today is unedited, save for some minor spelling corrections. I have also updated the text written by TSZ to bear his own name, instead of the anonymous "guest" account he insists on using. Rest assured, the overall message has gone unchanged.

In this first transcript, we see how quickly TSZ falls in to his old sock puppet antics:

You have joined Picture_Clinic_Chat.
Photoshoptor_Doctor: Hey TSZ. How ya doin?
Photoshoptor_Doctor: Say something or you're a bitch.
TheSniperZERO: Actually, it's Bill lol
TheSniperZERO: Sup Doc?
Photoshoptor_Doctor: You're not Bill
TheSniperZERO: Yes I am. How can I prove it?
Photoshoptor_Doctor: Do you think I'm stupid?
Photoshoptor_Doctor: I know you're not Bill. I KNOW you're TSZ. Just be yourself.
Photoshoptor_Doctor: We need to talk.

This tactic just seemed so absurd to me. Could TheSniperZERO actually have thought that he could pass himself off as Olapbill? Please don't insult our intelligence, TSZ. Not everyone has their head rammed squarely up their ass like you do. The charade began to unravel rapidly at this point. "Guest7078" was about to admit his true identity. Not that we needed him to.

Photoshoptor_Doctor: How pathetic. You have my sympathy, but not my mercy.
TheSniperZERO: Okay. You found me out. I can't hide my identity any longer
Photoshoptor_Doctor: Correct.
TheSniperZERO: Guest7078 is Me! thesniperzero
Photoshoptor_Doctor: I know.
TheSniperZERO: How did you ever find me out?
Photoshoptor_Doctor: I'm smart
TheSniperZERO: You should change your name to Sherlock because you are so smart
Photoshoptor_Doctor: No need for that. I just like to pwn you. Not solve crimes.
TheSniperZERO: I will humor you. I am TSZ. Talk to me
Photoshoptor_Doctor: OK. I think you suck.
Photoshoptor_Doctor: Try acting like a human sometime. You might like it.
TheSniperZERO: Yep you have. I can't concentrate. My sex life is a shambles. I can't work. I don't even know how photoshop works anymore .

I believe him when he says he can't work. This guy spends 90% of his office hours fighting my blog. That can't leave much time to get anything else done. At least not very well. I can't speak for his sex life, but if it's anything like his PS skills, there wasn't much going on there to begin with.

TheSniperZERO: You sure have owned me. OMG
Photoshoptor_Doctor: You had a sex life?
Photoshoptor_Doctor: Now I've heard everything.
TheSniperZERO: Yes. But your mom just wasn't my taste
TheSniperZERO: and your dad kept wanting to fuck me in the ass
Photoshoptor_Doctor: Go do some more Star Wars pics. You've never met my mom.
TheSniperZERO: and it was distracting
TheSniperZERO: they kept talking about how you were a major disappointment
Photoshoptor_Doctor: Is that the best you can do?
TheSniperZERO: and not only an accident... but a mistake
TheSniperZERO: so, while I've met your parents you never have
TheSniperZERO: since you were put up for adoption

For someone who likes to "psych profile" others, TSZ is apparently not familiar with the concept of projection. Maybe this quote from our 100% accurate friend Wikipedia will enlighten him.

"In psychology, psychological projection (or projection bias) is a defense mechanism in which one attributes to others one’s own unacceptable or unwanted thoughts or/and emotions. Projection reduces anxiety by allowing the expression of the unwanted subconscious impulses/desires without letting the ego recognize them."

So basically, TSZ vents his frustration with his own family and apparent closeted sexual deviance by insulting whomever he happens to disagree with. What's great about this technique is that it works in just about any situation. Should you ever find yourself differing in opinion from TheSniperZERO, you will no doubt suddenly become a gay, retarded fast-food worker. Oh, won't your adopted parents be proud?

Our conversation continued on for a few more moments, and then he declared that he was "bored" and logged off. So bored, apparently, that he only managed to log back into the chat room seven more times that night. A transcript of those conversations will be displayed in Part II of A Friendly Chat. You won't want to miss it.

That's all for today, gentle reader. See you tomorrow for the Friday Q&A. Will TSZ and Boner fill up the comment section of this week's edition with dozens of asinine attempts at trolling? Only time will tell.

Stay tuned for more examples of how TSZ is a miserable prick from the Doctor!