Questionable Evisceration
Hello there, crickets and trolls! Has it been a week already? Looks like it's once again time for the Friday Q&A. In my blog's longest running regular feature, I like to answer questions relevant to the Fark Photoshop community. That being said, I don't have any information about why Boner's life is a miserable failure. I'd appreciate it if he would stop asking.
Q: Why doesn't TheSniperZERO troll here any more?
A: I'm not sure, and I find it a little disappointing. Responding to dozens upon dozens of inelegantly-phrased insults and contradictions used to be the highlight of my day. That all changed recently, when TSZ exiled himself to lurk mode. Such a pity, because I could go another two hundred rounds with him in a good old-fashioned flame war. Speak up any time you want to get served, TSZ. Endlessly arguing with me is certainly easier than just giving a specific apology to everyone you insulted. Such a task might take as long as ten minutes. Why waste time making us think you're a human being?
Q: Is this blog still a parody?
A: Congratulations on formulating a half-decent question. It's obvious that expending such a large amount of mental energy has depleted your meager constitution. I won't fault you for taking a nap after what has to be your greatest intellectual feat since correctly spelling your name on the SATs.
To answer your question, this blog is indeed still a parody. Our Critic may be gone, but there will always be a place for the mockery of mean-spirited elitism. In a world filled with the constant din of ranting idiots, my own idiotic rantings have served as a shining beacon of hope to anyone whom I do not specifically refer to as having some sort of mental deficiency.
Q: Can you help me become a better 'shopper?
A: Absolutely not. Unlike my predecessor the Critic, I won't even pretend that I want people's work to improve. Always remember Unwritten Photoshop Rule #36: You are only as good or funny as your opponent is not. If I were to impart all of my PS wisdom to the unwashed masses, who knows how good they might get? Talent and creativity would spread like a virus, and before long my absurdly brilliant creations would be lost in a sea of equality. The very thought makes me shudder.
That's all for this time, gentle reader. I hope everyone has a great weekend, unless you disagree with me slightly, in which case I hope rats feast upon your intestines. But only after the maggots devour your eyeballs, of course.
Stay tuned for more vivid imagery from the Doctor!
Hello there, crickets and trolls! Has it been a week already? Looks like it's once again time for the Friday Q&A. In my blog's longest running regular feature, I like to answer questions relevant to the Fark Photoshop community. That being said, I don't have any information about why Boner's life is a miserable failure. I'd appreciate it if he would stop asking.
Q: Why doesn't TheSniperZERO troll here any more?
A: I'm not sure, and I find it a little disappointing. Responding to dozens upon dozens of inelegantly-phrased insults and contradictions used to be the highlight of my day. That all changed recently, when TSZ exiled himself to lurk mode. Such a pity, because I could go another two hundred rounds with him in a good old-fashioned flame war. Speak up any time you want to get served, TSZ. Endlessly arguing with me is certainly easier than just giving a specific apology to everyone you insulted. Such a task might take as long as ten minutes. Why waste time making us think you're a human being?
Q: Is this blog still a parody?
A: Congratulations on formulating a half-decent question. It's obvious that expending such a large amount of mental energy has depleted your meager constitution. I won't fault you for taking a nap after what has to be your greatest intellectual feat since correctly spelling your name on the SATs.
To answer your question, this blog is indeed still a parody. Our Critic may be gone, but there will always be a place for the mockery of mean-spirited elitism. In a world filled with the constant din of ranting idiots, my own idiotic rantings have served as a shining beacon of hope to anyone whom I do not specifically refer to as having some sort of mental deficiency.
Q: Can you help me become a better 'shopper?
A: Absolutely not. Unlike my predecessor the Critic, I won't even pretend that I want people's work to improve. Always remember Unwritten Photoshop Rule #36: You are only as good or funny as your opponent is not. If I were to impart all of my PS wisdom to the unwashed masses, who knows how good they might get? Talent and creativity would spread like a virus, and before long my absurdly brilliant creations would be lost in a sea of equality. The very thought makes me shudder.
That's all for this time, gentle reader. I hope everyone has a great weekend, unless you disagree with me slightly, in which case I hope rats feast upon your intestines. But only after the maggots devour your eyeballs, of course.
Stay tuned for more vivid imagery from the Doctor!










No comments:
Post a Comment