Friday Q&A

Questionable Captivation

Greetings, crickets and trolls. Welcome to the first Q&A of August! As you may already know, this is a very important month for us here at the Picture Clinic. It's our one year anniversary! Just a little less than twelve months ago saw the Clinic's inception and subsequent attack from TheSniperZERO. In celebration of this monumental occasion, I've planned a month-long gala. Sit back and enjoy my salute to petty grudges and infinite bickering!

Q: Why is Fark suddenly so unreliable?

A: Fark has been undergoing a hardware upgrade, and that means reliability has really been in the toilet. I've experienced technical difficulties several times over the last couple of weeks, though none of the outages lasted very long or interfered with the contests. Still, like dead air on the radio, any down time for a site like Fark is going to be noticed and commented on, usually by ignorant pricks who think their opinions matter. That's where I come in.

Q: What makes this blog different from the others?

A: This isn't your average blog. It's more like an anti-blog. There are many subtleties that differentiate myself from run-of-the-mill bloggers who only bitch about their worthless lives. I take pride in the fact that none of my readers visit the Clinic to hear what I think about modern society. Instead, they care about what really matters: the minutiae and pageantry surrounding Fark's photoshop threads.

Another important difference is my use of proper English, casting aside the LOLspeak and jumbled sentence structure that typically infests Internet communication. I personally find the OMG LOL crap to be pretty tiresome. Having to constantly look up the meanings of non-intuitive abbreviations is powerfully tedious. The same tedium I can imagine TSZ experiences while trying to find definitions for the multi-syllabic words I use.

Q: Do you welcome TheSniperZERO's return to Fark?

A: Absolutely. Anyone who has followed the drama surrounding TFPSTC is well aware that the blog's elusive proprietor TheSniperZERO has left Fark many times in a huff, periodically returning to post some contest entries every few months or so. Whenever he does this, I cross my fingers that he'll stick around for good, but each time I've been sorely disappointed. He had so many ideas for how others could "improve" their work, can't he come up with a few images of his own?

That's all for this time, gentle reader. Thanks for stopping by. Be sure to check back throughout the month for exciting coverage of the Clinic's anniversary, as well as new features and informed commentary (inclusion of the latter pending its discovery somewhere on the Internet). Before signing off, I feel as though I should apologize to TSZ for only devoting 1/3 of this week's column to our ongoing feud. Sorry, but our never-ending grudge match is not exactly "first comment" material.

Stay tuned for more important things from the Doctor!