Friday Q&A

Questionable Interrogation

Greetings, crickets and trolls. Welcome back to another edition of the Friday Q&A. I'm sending holiday cheer to each and every one of you that agrees with me. Christmas is right around the corner! There's a fat man making a list and checking it twice. No, I'm not talking about TheSniperZERO. He doesn't update his list of enemies until mid January. TSZ also doesn't have the mental capacity to check anything twice, given his propensity for spelling mistakes. Speaking of everyone's favorite Photoshop troll, this week's questions are inspired by a WHARGARBL-style rant he left in the comment section of my last post. Sorry to divert attention from the important topics at hand, but he raised some issues I'd like to discuss.

Q: Are you a journalist?

A: Absolutely not. Anyone who would mistake the Picture Clinic for journalism must really have something wrong with his penis. I am not now, nor have I ever been, a journalist. I am a blogger. Journalists are professionals with years of training. They search out the facts, and never let their opinions get in the way of the story. With such strong integrity, it's no wonder that pretty much all of their parent companies have gone bankrupt.

Q: Are you TheSniperZERO?

A: Wow, that's a new one. You heard it here first, readers. Today TSZ actually accused me of being TSZ. It's like even he knows how much of an insult that is. I feel compelled to reassure all of you that I'm not my arch-nemesis. How fucked up would that be? If I were TheSniperZERO, I'd be overcome by depression because of how much I would suck at Photoshop. I would also need to pay a homeless person fifty bucks to slice my face with a rusty box cutter. If you've ever seen a picture of TSZ, you know the resulting scars would be a vast improvement.

Q: Are you a liar?

A: Of course not. I already told you, I'm not TheSniperZERO. Who needs lies, when the truth is so ridiculous? Making things up would cheapen what we have going here. A stroll through the archives of the Clinic reveals that I always tell the truth, and am 100% right about everything all of the time. No lies here, my friend. This website remains the center of reason for the Fark Photoshop-related blog universe. But if it would please my critic(s) , I'll give lying a try: TheSniperZERO is a decent human being. I would urinate on him, if his body were ever to become engulfed in flames. There, now I'm a filthy liar. Happy?

That's all for this time, gentle reader. Stay tuned for the upcoming Doctor's Gift Guide, and please try not to mistake it for serious journalism. I want to thank TSZ for resurfacing, like a turd in the toilet of whatever bus station men's room he currently inhabits. Way to go, TSZ. It's good to know that I can still provoke you after all this time.

Stay tuned for more smug satisfaction from the Doctor!