Friday Q&A

Questionable Dissension

Greetings, crickets and trolls. It's time for another edition of the Friday Q&A. I want to start by welcoming all my new readers. Thanks for stopping by! Now get the fuck out of my echo chamber if you don't agree with me. This week, I'll be discussing the best methods of conflict resolution. I'm clearly an informed authority on aside setting my differences with people.

Q: What's with all the conflict?

A: I can only assume you're referring to the recent dust ups in the PSAEF. Some tension seems to have developed between certain individuals. I won't name anyone here, because this blog has never been about calling people out. But I will say that the childish insults were pretty disappointing. Save it for the blogosphere, people!
TSZ is still a douche.
Q: Should the PSAEF be a conflict-free zone?

A: Sure! Then we can all sit around singing Kumbaya whilst we give each other reach-arounds. Seriously, a forum without debate would quickly become boring and stagnant. There have been some great discussions in the Photoshop forum, and a few of them have gotten pretty heated. Of course, most stopped short of devolving into the hair-pulling slapfights we've all witnessed recently.

Q: Do you know any proven methods of conflict resolution?

A: Yes, but most of them involve carelessly brandishing a firearm. Internet disputes are a little different, especially when they involve people that I ostensibly have respect for. It's a shame to see arrogance and strife running rampant in our community. But at least I got in on the fad before it became trendy.

That's all for this time, gentle reader. Thanks again for stopping by. We're a diverse group of people, and it's only natural for us to occasionally have disputes. When those disagreements get personal, my advice is to just take a deep breath. Try channeling your anger into a worthwhile hobby, like hate blogging or arson.

Stay tuned for more repressed animosity from the Doctor!

Friday Q&A

Questionable Attribution

Greetings, crickets and trolls. Welcome to another edition of the Friday Q&A. Thanks for joining me this week. As always, I appreciate your patronage. Conditional upon whether or not you agree with me about Photoshop, of course.

Q: Will you take responsibility for fixing the queue?

A: It would be my pleasure. As you may recall, last week's Q&A focused on what would prove to be a momentary lapse in theme approvals. Shortly thereafter, the Photoshop queue began filling up with quality themes once again. Obviously, the Fark brass took notice of some asinine ranting posted on this obscure part of the Internet. There can be no other explanation.

Q: Are you sure it wasn't just a coincidence?

A: You'd be naive to assume there are any coincidences in life, especially in the world of Photoshop. Rather than give credit to the imaginative individuals who took time to submit these contests, it's much easier to praise my limited actions. At least it is for me.

Q: How can the average Farker make a difference?

A: They could start by changing their underwear. As for our community, I've found that the registering of discontent is hardly worthwhile. One only has to scan over the epic threads that inevitably occur whenever management implements some horrible idea. It's always the same response of "you'll get over it." A more accurate statement would be "you have nowhere else to go."

That's all for this time, gentle reader. Thanks again for stopping by. Hopefully this week's post showed you the importance and impossibility of making a difference. The problem with being part of a community is that you are but one voice amongst many.

Stayed tuned for more social malaise from the Doctor!

Friday Q&A

Questionable Permission

Greetings, crickets and trolls. Welcome back to the Friday Q&A, an informative recurring feature that frequently appears on the same day of the week. Thanks for joining me once again. In this edition, I'll be examining the current drought of theme contests on Fark.

Q: What happened to all the theme contests?

A: There are plenty of good themes in the TotalFark queue, but everything submitted in the past few days has been rejected. Seeing all that red is quite a shame. Any of those ideas would have made for an amusing Photoshop thread. Who knows? A few could have even been declared "best contest ever" of the day.

Q: Why are the themes getting rejected?

A: I'm really not sure. Several of today's submissions looked promising. As I've stated in previous posts, the great theme flood appears to have dried up in recent weeks. Whilst there has been no official word on this apparent reversal in policy, the results are quire evident. "O" contests have once again begun to outnumber any kind of challenge, theme, or Iron Photoshop. Only a handful of freestyle threads went live this week, and there are currently only a handful of them in the queue.

Q: Why not email Drew about your concerns?

A: Why Farkback, when blogging is just as effective? By which I mean not at all. Seriously though, sending an email to Drew is the last thing I would ever consider. The gruesome pwnage of BitterOldMan is still fresh in my mind. Of course, BOM wasn't able to adequately express his displeasure without sounding like a fucktard. You read this blog, do you really think I could do any better?

That's all for this time gentle reader. As usual, thanks for stopping by. I urge any readers moved by today's posting to fire off a strongly-worded missive in the form of a Farkback. Don't forget to demand unreasonable changes in admin policy, and be sure to say you speak for everyone.

Stay tuned for more bad advice from the Doctor!

Friday Q&A

Questionable Creation

Greetings, crickets and trolls. Welcome back to another edition of the Friday Q&A. In this weekly feature, I answer questions relevant to the Fark Photoshop community. Surprisingly enough, only a few of the queries involve alcoholism or venereal disease. This week, we'll be talking about creativity. I realize the concept is unfamiliar to many of my readers, so feel free to Google it before we continue.

Q: Where do you get your ideas?

A: A creative genius like myself draws inspiration from a variety of sources. The most successful ideas come from the most unlikely of places. Don't be afraid to think outside the box. Unless we're talking about some sort of theoretical "idea box," in which case you want to stay inside.

Q: Is it possible to streamline the process of inspiration?

A: Certainly. I would encourage my readers to experiment with different elements of the creative process. Some are more effective than others. It's all about finding what works best for you! In my case, it was a combination of shortcuts and taking the easy way out.

Q: Have you ever run out of ideas?

A: Certainly not. An absurd notion, given the font of brilliance that flows from the deepest recesses of my mind. However, I am sensitive to the concerns of my peers. If you've been stricken with the dreaded "Photoshopper's block," don't despair. The mental exercises in this inspirational video will surely get your creative juices flowing.

That's all for this time, gentle reader. Once again, thanks for stopping by. I've enjoyed this opportunity to reflect upon the essence of inspiration. PS skills are useless if you can't think of a good concept.

Stay tuned for more harsh reality from the Doctor!

Friday Q&A

Questionable Admiration

Greetings, crickets and trolls. Welcome back to another exciting edition of the Friday Q&A. It's great to see you again. Here at the Picture Clinic, I value each and every reader. Provided they agree with me about Photoshop, and freely acknowledge how awesome I am. And sign a loyalty oath that grants me their power of attorney. Don't worry about the fine print, it's mostly boilerplate. Scan over it quickly, so we can get started with today's questions.

Q: Which Photoshoppers do you idolize?

A: I don't partake in that kind of thing. Whilst I'd be a fool to ignore the talent and skill of my fellow Photoshoppers, I don't believe in worshiping anyone. None of us are perfect, and we all make mistakes. For example, some people occasionally forget to curry my favor with offerings of gemstones and gold. Of course, I do my best to overlook such minor indiscretions. Partially because I'm such a class act, but mainly because I'm too busy admiring my own reflection to notice what other people do.

Q: Is anyone better than you?

A: At Photoshop? I wouldn't know. I've placed everyone on ignore so their entries don't distract from my own. I would assume that there are any number of Farkers with more talent than me. However, I refuse to place these people on any kind of pedestal. They might turn into to bitter jerks someday, and I would feel stupid for ever having looked up to them. You won't break my heart again, Fark Photoshop community.

Q: What happened to all the themes?

A: Apparently the great theme flood of 2009 is officially over. You might recall that in last week's edition, I commented on this apparent rereversal in administrative policy. Never mind that theme contests invariably pull in more entries and higher vote totals. We're back to only having one or two of them per week. I won't complain too loudly, though. Things could obviously be a lot worse.

That's all for this time, gentle reader. Thanks so much for stopping by. I want to take some time here at the end to reassure anyone offended by the implications of this week's Q&A. Whilst I refuse to worship anyone but myself, I willingly acknowledge the contributions and hard work of everyone in our community. At least those who agree with me about Photoshop.

Stay tuned for more minor exclusions from the Doctor!