Friday Q&A

Questionable Premonition

Greetings crickets and trolls. Welcome to a special Friday the 13th edition of the Q&A. I've always considered this date to be lucky, since I'm a creature of darkness that feeds off the misery and hatred of others. I get more than my fill from this blog alone, but having the 13th fall on Friday three times this year has been a nice bonus.

Q: Is luck important in Photoshopping?

A: I'm sure many of my contemporaries would say yes. The conventional logic amongst most of Fark Photoshop's elite seems to be that our voters are unpredictable. You just never know what they're going to elevate or shun. Well, maybe you don't know. I myself have mastered the art of predicting a contest's winners and losers.

Q: What is the secret to your predictions?

A: If I shared that, I'd give away my edge in the contests. Then I would only have my massive technical skills and outstanding sense of humor to set me apart from the pack. And also my good looks and intelligence. If you really want to know the secret behind Fark's voting trends, you'll just have to sit back and observe the outcome of a few contests for yourself. This may mean closing three or more of the bestiality porn tabs you have open on your browser, so be prepared to make sacrifices.

Q: Are psychic abilities a factor in the outcome of Fark's contests?

A: Absolutely. As a trained medical professional, I can say that psychic powers are just as real as Bigfoot or the Loch Ness Monster. Since the dawn of time, mankind has sought to control his destiny. How better to do so than by predicting the future? A man named Nostradamus once said a bunch of stuff that I have trouble translating because it's in a foreign language. Luckily, trusted TV psychic Miss Cleo thinks enough to speak American (or Español if you press 2). She had no problem confiding with me at great length about the impending outcome of many Fark contests. If it weren't for her indictment by the FCC, my winning streak would have remained unbroken.

That's all for this time, gentle reader. Thanks again for stopping by. I don't need psychic powers to know you're doubting my claims about the existence of said powers. Try thinking of a number between one and ten (preferably seven). Did you guess seven? How about six? Five, eight or three? If I haven't guessed your number yet, you're probably a witch.

Stay tuned for more arbitrary predictions from the Doctor!