Friday Q&A

Questionable Dehydration

Greetings, crickets and trolls. Welcome to the very first Clinic post of the new decade. I'm glad you survived last night's festivities. Unless you disagree with me, in which case I wish you had done the world a favor by finally drinking yourself to death. Just get it over with! At any rate, thanks for joining me.

Q: What were some of your greatest accomplishments in 2009?

A: I'm just happy to have spent another year hating everything in sight. At least, everything that disagrees with me. I also restored Cliche City, after it was briefly knocked offline by overzealous litigation. On top of all that, I still found time to constantly remind the readers of my superiority. It's a dirty job, but someone who is infinitely more intelligent than you has to do it.

Q: What are some of your resolutions for the new year?

A: Resolutions are for imperfect individuals. In my own sphere of consciousness, I see no need for improvement. In fact, the rest of the universe should aspire to be more like me. This world would be a much better place if only there were a few more egomaniacal pissants around to spew venomous bile.


Q: Do you have any plans for the Picture Clinic in 2010?

A: Plans are for thinkers. I'm a man of action, and I don't have time to sit around plotting my next move. Let future historians bicker over what the right strategy should have been. One thing I can guarantee: this blog will continue to stand as a beacon of hope and truth (assuming hope and/or truth do not countermand my opinions).

That's all for this time, gentle reader. I'm afraid this Q&A must be cut mercifully short so that I may attend to my raging hangover. I want to close my first post of the new year by wishing you happiness and prosperity throughout the next decade. Assuming you agree with me about Photoshop, of course.

Stay tuned for more conditional blessings from the Doctor!