The Photoshoptor Doctor Picture Clinic

Questionable Excavation

Greetings, crickets and trolls. Welcome to another edition of the Friday Q&A. I want to start by apologizing to everyone who lost money betting on the Super Bowl due to my misguided advice. I now realize that the Denver Broncos were not in fact a "sure thing" to win. Here's hoping they do better in the upcoming upcoming Winter Olympics. I've heard some pretty good things about their downhill skiing program this year.

Q: Have you been trapped indoors by the Snowpocalypse?

A: I believe the correct term is "Snowmaggeddon", and thankfully it looks like I dodged that particular bullet. The abandoned oil drilling platform in international waters that I live on for tax purposes doesn't see much winter weather. However, I feel the pain of my East Coast brothers and sisters, many of whom are currently either frozen corpses or trapped inside with nothing to do but talk to family members. It's one of those situations were the survivors envy the dead.

Q: What supplies do you stock up on for this type of scenario?

A: Whoa, slow down there. I'm pretty sure you don't want to over-prepare for a snow storm. Besides, panicked citizens have no doubt already grabbed most of the useful stuff from the grocery store. But who needs that overpriced crap, anyway? If you're smart, you already stocked up on Sno Cone flavoring and paper funnel cups. That way, the blizzard will provide a sumptuous bounty of flavored ice.

Q: Is a blizzard conducive to Photoshopping?

A: Certainly, provided you can keep your fingers from succumbing to frostbite. In weather like this, you can either fight polar bears on your way to the mailbox, or sit back and enjoy having an excuse not to get off your lazy ass for once. In other words, it's a great time to Photoshop. At least until you run out of paper funnel cups.

That's all for this time, gentle reader. Thanks again for stopping by. Here's hoping this blizzard thaws before cadaver dogs have to dig your frozen corpse out of the snow drift where your house used to be. Until then, you're welcome to as many of my world-famous "banana" flavored Sno Cones as you can eat.

Stay tuned for more frosted treats from the Doctor!