Friday Q&A

Questionable Eruption

Greetings, crickets and trolls. Welcome to another edition of the Friday Q&A. In honor of Earth Day, I've prepared a special post celebrating conservation. This is the only planet we have! Except for Mercury, Venus, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Neptune, and Uranus. But face it, all those planets suck. Our solar system is like the South Dakota of this galaxy.

Q: What about Pluto?

A: I was very sad to read the news about Pluto, which was apparently destroyed recently by an evil scientist. Now my bed sheets AND my pajamas are inaccurate. To make sure the same fate doesn't befall Earth, I propose that all studies of cosmetology be banned. I'm pretty sure that's the one where they study the universe. Better ban astrology too, just to be sure.

Q: Do you have any tips for Earth-friendly Photoshopping?

A: Not as such. Do we really need this? Photoshopping is one of the few hobbies where you can have fun and not worry about contributing to humanity's' slow march towards death. I suppose if you were really keen on conservation, you could just recycle the same jokes over and over. See this handy site for details.

Q: Does the Earth really deserve its own day?

A: This is the question I find myself asking most often. Personally, I think the Earth tends to see any appeasement as an act of weakness. Mother Nature is a real cunt. If she gets her own day, the greedy bitch will just want a whole week. Look at the mess Europe is currently in. They spent all that money investing in clean energy initiatives, and how does the Earth repay their favor? By choking the skies with volcanic ash.

That's all for this time, gentle reader. Thanks again for stopping by. It looks like America is going to have to once again save Europe's collective ass. Instead of dismantling all those nukes like Obama was originally planning to do, let's just fire them at Iceland. We can wipe their stupid volcano off the map with a few hundred thousand megatons. And don't worry, I'm pretty sure radioactive fallout cancels out the effect of volcanic ash.

Stay tuned for more suggested targets from the Doctor!