Friday Q&A

Questionable Reanimation

Greetings, crickets and trolls. Welcome to another edition of the Friday Q&A. Today marks an important milestone: it's the one year anniversary of Michael Jackson's death. Didn't you ever see 1994's The Crow? So far, everything I learned from that movie has been true to life. Detroit is indeed a depressing shithole populated by roving gangs of drug-addled sociopaths. The subplot about crows bringing people back to life is bound to be accurate.

Q: Why bring back Michael Jackson?

A: I feel the Photoshop community has lost a very important cliche in the wake of Jacko's passing. Jokes about him are increasingly irrelevant. Future generations of kids won't even get the one about little boys pants being half off. They won't get molested by him, either, but it's kind of a shitty trade off when you think about it.

Q: What about Gary Coleman?

A: Oh, we're so bringing back Gary Coleman. The best thing about him is that if we pool our money, we'll probably be able to buy the remains from his wife. But first things first, we need to get our zombie Jacko up and moonwalking towards vengeance. Those paparazzi and quack medical practitioners aren't going to commit acts of brutally graphic, cinematic violence against themselves.

Q: Don't these celebrities deserve the peace of the grave?

A: If digging up dead celebrities is wrong, I don't want to be right. Besides, nobody was complaining when I dug up Farrah Fawcett earlier today. Granted, the security guards were on their lunch break. It's just too bad she was cremated. Whatever, I can still work with it.

That's all for this time, gentle reader. Thanks again for stopping by. As the self-proclaimed King of Hate Blogging, I hope at least one of you will heed this call to bring back the self-proclaimed King of Pop. Give a hoot, dig up Jacko's corpse! I've already trapped several crows for use in the ritual. I figured we might need a few practice birds, I haven't preformed black magic since high school.

Stay tuned for more avian experimentation from the Doctor!