Friday Q&A

Questionable Transition

Greetings, crickets and trolls. Welcome back to another edition of the Friday Q&A. Here at the Picture Clinic, I pride myself on consistency. I'm consistently right, and you're consistently a subhuman and moronic waste of life. The fact that people like you manage to survive is a slap in the face to the vaunted theory of evolution. I can only assume you've developed a hard shell or camouflage reflex to thwart predators.

Q: Have you figured out a way to fix Google?

A: If you had the displeasure of reading last week's column, you know that the functionality of Google Image Search was recently marred by an unpopular redesign. Instead of a neatly arranged grid, search results are now carelessly dumped in front of the user. Despite a massive public outcry, few fixes currently exist to permanently give you back the classic version of the search. As a temporary workaround, I've installed the Google Images (Classic) plug-in listed on this page.

Q: Why did Google see the need to improve their image search?

A: I see the change as an attempt to keep step with Bing, Google's top competitor. After all, how better to outfox your enemy than by becoming just like them in every way? America didn't win the War on Terror by having TSA agents grab my junk every time I go to the airport. We won it by launching cruise missiles into densely populated areas. This new image search is Google's own version of the Daisy Cutter.
Remember the 11th Commandment: Thou shalt take it up a notch
Q: Why does Google want to be like Bing?

A: No one really knows why Google seems determined make their site even more ugly and dysfunctional than the competition. It might be possible that Google is some sort of alien creature sent to kill and replace Microsoft. We may need to be on the lookout for suspicious pods. At any rate, the new image search fails for abandoning low-bandwidth users. Hopefully, the plug-in listed above will enable you to bypass this annoying new feature.

That's all for this time, gentle reader. Thanks again for stopping by. It's important to note that many search alternatives exist. No one is forcing you to use Bing or Google, despite their competition to surreptitiously change your default engine through increasingly obtrusive toolbars. Yahoo and Lycos.com (site motto: Yes, we still exist!) are just two of many possible examples.

Stay tuned for more unpopular alternatives from the Doctor!