Questionable Consolation
Greetings, crickets and trolls. I'm back from that much-needed vacation. I throughly enjoyed my trip to Japan, despite ingesting a large amount of radioactive iodine at the resort. I also brought a few pounds home with me, in case I got hungry on the plane. Iodine is an acquired taste, and I doubt your unrefined pallet could detect the subtle flavor at play.
Q: Should Fark award prizes to contest winners?
A: The standard always been that there are no fabulous prizes in Fark contests. What however, if some shitty prizes were awarded? T-shirts, maybe some coffee mugs. The type of stuff that will tell your friends and coworkers that, yes, you are an Internet nerd.
Q: Why not money?
A: I doubt Drew is eager to part with his hard-earned Internet dollars. Even if he was, awarding money on a daily or even weekly basis is a constant expenditure that would likely see little return. At least with the Fark merchendise, they probably have a warehouse full that no one is going to buy.
Q: Do you support this idea?
A: Short answer: No. Slightly longer answer: Fuck no, you stupid shitcock. I'm perfectly happy with the status quo. I like that people in Fark contests are laid back, and competition is strictly a gentleman's sport (though the Supreme Court ruled we have to include gentle ladies as well). People seem to behave differently when something is actually at stake.
That's all for this time, gentle reader. I have to go write a glowing review of that Japanese spa I stayed at last week. After all, I still have a healthy glow. Definitely worth sneaking past all those armed security personnel clad in bubble suits.
Stay tuned for more radiological exposure from the Doctor!
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