Friday Q&A

Questionable Regimentation

Greetings, crickets and trolls. Welcome to yet another informative edition of the Friday Q&A. Thanks for joining me again. In last week's post, I outlined some upcoming changes to the way Fark does Photoshop contests. Normally, the very suggestion of such an idea would be enough to send our community into full-on red alert crisis mode. Luckily, the dumber proposals seem to have died quietly during the course of discussion.

Q: Which ideas didn't make it?

A: The general consensus amongst Photoshoppers, when asked how they would feel about only getting two contests a day, was a resounding "OH HELL NAW." Well, message received on the part of the management. We appear to be staying at three contests a day for now. Likewise, the brilliant suggestion to give Liters early access to the contest images (effectively nullifying TotalFark), does not appear to be getting off the ground any time soon. That idea has been floated by a few of my fellow Photoshoppers, but didn't seem to get much traction with the powers that be. Not surprisingly, Drew doesn't want to fuck with the way his site makes money.

Q: What kind of schedule are the contests sticking to?

A: Live times are being kept to what is assumed to be peek hours. Under this new schedule, a contest will appear on the main Fark page at 9 am, 1 pm, and 5 pm est. Management theorizes that keeping a stricter schedule will draw in more participants. I will agree that the random timing of contests in the past was annoying, and may have contributed to the decline in voter turnout. It's too soon to know if this new strategy will work, but I'm sure the next few weeks of contests will be closely monitored for any kind of statistical change.

Q: Can you see any problems with this plan?

A: The only problem I can see is that not everyone who Photoshops on Fark is physically located in the Eastern time zone. We are, in fact, scattered across globe. The new changes won't have full effect on anyone located elsewhere, apart from giving them that consistency I keep reading is so important. I thought it was only good for your shit, but apparently Photoshop, too. Perhaps the admins should consider a high fiber diet.

That's all for this time, gentle reader. Thanks again for stopping by. I'm glad the powers that be are taking an interest in improving our community. Only time will tell if their methods will bear fruit. On an unrelated note, the phrase "bear fruit" horrifies me, as it combines the two things I hate most in this world: bears and fruit.

Stay tuned for more unsettling idioms from the Doctor!

Friday Q&A

Questionable Reduction

Greetings, crickets and trolls. Welcome back to a brand new edition of the Friday Q&A. I'm glad you stopped by. As you well know, this blog is a paragon of informative information. But what you might not know is how many awards I've given myself for writing it. The answer is seven.

Q: Should the number of contests per day be reduced?

A: I strongly disagree with proposed plans to reduce the number of contests from three a day to two. Regardless of whether or not the amount of entries in an average contest has decreased, you aren't going to get more participation by making the playground smaller. Try approving contest ideas that haven't been done before. I see so many recasts of old themes that Fark is starting to remind me of Worth1K. Given the large variety of what typically gets submitted to the queue, I find this unacceptable.

Q: Should contest times be standardized?

A: Another proposal involves limiting the contests to specific time slots. The idea being that giving everyone some consistency might spur the creative process. After all, remember what Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "inconsistency is the hobgoblin of little minds." Or maybe it was the other way around. I always get confused and start thinking about the Spiderman villain. As for the idea itself, I have my doubts. Photoshopping, at least for me, is a highly organic process. It defies all attempts at regimentation. Posting the contests at recurring times may get a few people's attention, but if the times are not carefully chosen, we run the risk of not being noticed at all.

Q: Should Liters be able to see the contest pics in advance?

A: Hell no. Why don't we all just live in a big hippie commune? Groovy, man. Hug a rainbow. All this would do is further erode the boundaries between TotalFark and FarkLite. We need those boundaries. They're like the big iron gates that keep all those smelly poor people out of my neighborhood. Furthermore, I don't think it would do much good. There really aren't that many Liters who are serious enough to give a fuck about seeing the pictures in advance. If they wanted to see the O's early, getting TotalFark would be an easy thing for pretty much anyone who isn't currently living under a bridge to afford. I just don't think Liters care much about working on something before the contest goes live. They've had access to the themes in advance for years now, and I seldom if ever see Liter work that looks as if any amount of time was spent on it.

That's all for this time, gentle reader. Thanks again for stopping by. I'm glad the powers that be have taken an interest in improving our community. However, their logic seems spotty to me in more than a few places. When I see a contest I don't like, I don't enter it. Giving us fewer options means fewer decisions, and less overall participation. Selecting specific time slots for the contests might work, but any miscalculation may do more harm than good. And whilst many of my friends think giving the non-paying members better access would improve participation, I'm of the opinion that most Liters are playing the game differently than TFers. They play for fun, not necessarily to win. The fact that they can do this and still occasionally come out on top is a testament to everything I love about the Fark PS community.

Stay tuned for more optimistic elitism from the Doctor!

Friday Q&A

Questionable Pollution

Greetings, crickets and trolls. Welcome to another edition of the Friday Q&A. Thanks for joining me again. Each week, I demonstrate my intellectual superiority by examining some of the issues faced by Fark's Photoshop community. I do it because I care, and also am always right. Sharing my gift with the world is my gift to the world. Don't try returning it for something you actually want, I didn't save the receipt.

Q: Is there such a thing as too much Photoshop?

A: Some people will certainly tell you there is. There are those who would advise you not to enter every contest, or only post one entry per contest, and a variety of other dumb ideas that limit creativity. I try to maintain the perspective that we're doing this to have a good time, not create the next art exhibition. I won't begrudge anyone for getting a bit trigger happy and posting multiples.

Q: What about the overall quality of the contests?

A: The fact is that a bunch of low quality entries don't decrease the overall quality of the contests one bit. Quite the contrary, they are desperately needed to make the good stuff look better. The fact is that we are creating threads to entertain bored people on the Internet. The more entries, the better. I'm pretty sure people would be way less impressed with a thread if it only contained the top 10. Then they would view the entries quickly, and leave the thread. Pretty much the opposite of what you want to happen, especially if you like getting votes.

Q: What if my idea is used by someone posting multiples?

A: Then you probably had a pretty crappy idea. It was obvious enough for someone to think of something similar, so the amount of time you potentially would have worked on it would be better spent on something that's actually clever. Whether or not the person in question posted a bunch of other stuff is completely immaterial. Don't blame someone else for your lack of creativity.

That's all for this time, gentle reader. Thank again for stopping by. I maintain that Fark's contests are better served by having a wide variety of both low and high quality work. To this end, it's important not to make people feel like they have to limit themselves. Let every Fartist (new term, feel free to use it, but I get 10% royalties) spread his or her creative wings.

Stay tuned for more trite imagery from the Doctor!

Friday Q&A

Questionable Delineation

Greetings, crickets and trolls. I'm glad you joined me again for another strikingly informative edition of the Friday Q&A. If you're a newcomer to the Clinic, each week I take a look at issues facing Fark's Photoshop community. Whenever possible, lay the blame solely where it belongs: on the reader.

Q: What did the readers do?

A: Maybe nothing, but possibly everything. Think of me like the TSA, who long ago realized that to catch a few terrorists, you have to treat everyone and their grandmother (especially their grandmother) like a filthy terrorist. In a similar vein, you're probably not single-handedly responsible for such atrocities as acting like a twat on the Internet and forcing old memes down everyone's throat. But you certainly could be. Please step into the machine whilst I get a fresh set of gloves.

Q: To what extent have cliches damaged our community?

A: The cliches themselves have done nothing. They're just pictures, after all. Their popularity or unpopularity has no bearing on Fark's continued existence. A lot of noise gets made over the damage they supposedly cause, but the real harm is done by cliche haters, who inevitably feel the need to share how sick they are at seeing the recurrence of a particular meme. Because doing that always makes the cliche in question magically go away forever.

Q: Shouldn't people be allowed to openly exchange their opinions?

A: No, no, no. Fuck no. Not saying every vile thought that pops into our heads is what separates mankind from the apes. And also our ability to speak and use written language, but whatever. The important thing to remember is that keeping your butthurt to yourself is a storied part of the human experience. Some people like to say, "the squeaky wheel gets the grease." I prefer to say instead, "shut the fuck up, wheel. I'm too hungover to listen to your bullshit." It's slightly less catchy.

That's all for this time, gentle reader. Thanks again for stopping by. I'd like to close this edition of the Q&A by wishing my good friend TheSniperZERO many happy returns on his upcoming birthday. I may give him a hard time occasionally, but that's only because he's a miserable pile of shit.

Stay tuned for more birthday greetings from the Doctor!

Friday Q&A

Questionable Denunciation

Greetings, crickets and trolls. Welcome back to an important edition of the Friday Q&A. Each week, I condense my words of wisdom down into blog form. It's a bit of service that I enjoy doing for the Fark community. If there are pressing issues, you can bet that I'll press the hell out of them.

Q: What is the most popular Fark cliche?

A: In terms of infamy and staying power, the Beer Looter is always at the top of the pile. Who knew that the most enduring sign of hurricane Katrina would be this simple picture? Well, that and all the buildings they still haven't fixed. If there was an original image featured in a Fark Photoshop contest in the last few years, and it contained water, this guy was sure to show up.


Q: Why do people hate the Looter?

A: In the past, some Farkers have made a rather dubious claim that the picture is racist. I fail to see why. Was it racist of the photographer to take it? Or racist of BL to do the looting? If the photog had also gotten some white people looting in the shot, would it not be racist then? Oh wait, I forgot, there has to be a person representing each race in a group for it to be considered non-racist. So if there would also need to be an Asian and a Hispanic in the shot. And at least one Middle Eastern race, maybe two because we're bombing them for various reasons and need to compensate.

Q: Why do you like the Looter?

A: First of all, he gives everyone something to bitch about. If your masterpiece goes unnoticed in a contest, just hate on whomever posted the Looter and drained all the votes away. You obviously would have won by a hundred points if that pesky cliche didn't exist. But more importantly, I like BL because he's living the American Dream. In that he's about to drink beer that was free by virtue of being unattended. The American Dream has nosedived this past decade or so, but that's a subject for another post.

That's all for this time, gentle reader. Thanks again for stopping by. If you ever find yourself becoming frustrated with the Beer Looter, take a step back. He's a man from humble origins, who saw what he wanted and took it. Well, to be fair, he probably wanted a carton of Newports instead, but those were all wet.

Stay tuned for more casual racism from the Doctor!