Friday Q&A

Questionable Portion 

 

Greetings, crickets and trolls. Today is the very first Q&A written with Blogger's horrible new interface. The good people at Google seem to have gone out of their way in finding exactly what works best, and then doing the opposite. It's like blogging in the not-too-distant future. This week, I'll be taking a look at ways to improve your Fark voting average, assuming anyone in the world still cares about that.

 Q: How can I get higher vote totals at Fark?

A: Now that the field has been split into best and funniest, it has become necessary for you to pick a side. Either go for best or funniest. DO NOT just assume you can go for both. You aren't ready. This like the Karate Kid (the real one), which means you'll spend the better part of the film waxing my various cars and painting my various fences. 

Q: Aren't some people good with humor as well as Photoshop?

A: Yes they are, and those types of people should be barred from competing anywhere online. I have written to Drew about constructing a second Internet for these living Gods to partition themselves off in, so that the affairs of mere mortal Photoshop contests can go on unhindered. Also we can stick the Beer Looter there.

Q: How does one appeal to the average Fark voter?

A: Fark voters are insanely bored people, just like us. Give them a laugh or a wow moment, and they might show thanks by voting you up. Never assume that your work deserves a vote, even if you spent a lot of time on it. Effort alone should never guarantee a vote. Think about what a world we'd have if everyone who tried was successful. Find what the voters want, whether it be quality or humor (NEVER mix the two) and give it to them.

That's all for this time, gentle reader. Thanks again for stopping by. I hope you've already picked your side in the great battle of Best vs Funniest. How long until hostility boils over again between these two warring factions? It's sure to be an Internet war to end all Internet wars.

Stay tuned for more dire prognostication from the Doctor!