Friday Q&A

Questionable Election

Greetings, crickets and trolls. Welcome to another informative edition of the Friday Q&A. I'm glad you joined me, as we have urgent business to discuss. This week, I'm taking a break from commenting on the Fark community at large to discuss the upcoming American presidential election. Any of my readers in foreign countries can use the next few minutes to patch any holes they might find in the roof of their ramshackle huts.

Q: Do politics and Photoshop mix well?

A: I find that the two go together like vodka and milk. Frustration with our political system has driven more than a few disgruntled malcontents to take their first tentative grasps at image mangling. The initial fruits of their labor may be crude and offensive, but so much can develop from there. All it takes is the right inspiration.

Q: Which candidate do you support for President?

A: It's a tough question. As a Photoshopper, I give my support based on a number of factors. For example, I fully acknowledge the legal gray area in which we operate. With the definition of fair use being constantly eroded, how long before the copyright gestapo kicks your door in for all those pics you "stole"? So we want a President who doesn't focus on coloring that gray area. Obama has not performed well in this respect. With his frequent domain seizures and movements toward an Internet "kill" switch, he doesn't leave me brimming with confidence with regards to free speech. Romney doesn't get high marks, either. He's a billionaire, and it makes me think he's always going to side with other billionaires. He's also got kind of a freaky inhuman robot thing going on. It makes me think he was sent from another world to destroy us. I mean, how many times has he run for President? Why does he want to be President so bad? It's a shit job. A billionaire is spending billions of his own and others money to get elected to a job that pays less than a million a year. I'm sure if he ever gets in, his first action will be to give all the poor children of America a free puppy. Which is good, those kids are starving.

Q: So who should we vote for?

A: For fuck's sake, you want me to help you pick out your underwear, too? It's a simple thing to choose. Do you want 4 more years of racist Kenyan jokes, or 4 years of riffing on various robotic gaffes committed by Romney? It's wide open. Personally, I'm hoping to throw my vote away on a ridiculous third party candidate, but I'm still shopping around for who has the most asinine opinions.

That's all for this time, gentle reader. Thanks again for stopping by. No matter who you choose for President, I think we can all agree that this shitfest has gone on about 36 months longer than it needed to. Jesus Christ, people. The President doesn't even have that much power. The entire news cycle has been focused on this since literally the end of the last election. There is not a reason on Earth why anyone should care about a Presidential election 3 years in advance unless you're the fucking guy running.

Stay tuned for more political advice from the Doctor!