Labor Day Q&A

Questionable Contribution

Greetings, crickets and trolls. Welcome to a special Labor Day weekend edition of the Q&A. Thanks for taking time to join me. In this week's post, I'll be taking a closer look at this peculiar celebration of labor, an activity most Americans go out of their way to avoid.

Q: Why do we still celebrate Labor Day?

A: Americans love any excuse to take time off from work, and the irony of not working on a day that celebrates hard workers is almost certainly lost on most of us. And when I say workers, I don't mean in a communist way, so don't get all Fox Newsy about it. Given that the whole thing was started to honor the sacrifices made by labor unions, maybe it's best that FNC be left out of the loop this time, given how much of their 24 hour schedule is devoted to branding any trade union as evil socialist communazi liberal tax and spend abortionists. Who are coming for your guns and freedom.

Q: What is the best way to celebrate Labor Day?

A: Like any good American, by not working. And by grilling various animal organs that have been compressed and formed into meat tubes, purportedly fit for human consumption. Mmm, that's good eating. 

Q: What if I don't eat meat?

A: I realize a number of people in this country are vegetarians, and my only request to them is that they cut the shit and eat a few hotdogs this weekend. The cows, pigs, chickens and occasional stray rat who fell into the grinder all worked hard to taste that delicious. Is it too much to ask for you to honor their sacrifice?

That's all for this time, gentle reader. Thanks again for stopping by. I hope you have a safe and productive labor day, free from communists and all other malefactors who wish to harm this great nation. We can only hope the hotdog production facilitates are locked up tight this weekend, lest our supply of rat meat become tainted.

Stay tuned for more appetizing imagery from the Doctor!