Friday Q&A

Questionable Convention

Greetings, crickets and trolls. Welcome to another edition of the Friday Q&A. Your source for the hottest wild speculation and outright falsehood. It's an election year here in America, the only part of the world that matters. A Presidential election to boot, and that means 24/7 coverage and conjecture. So, pretty much exactly like it's been since the end of the last Presidential election.

Q: Did you watch the Republican and Democratic National Conventions?

A: I was torn between my duty as a blogger to be uninformed, and my patriotic need as an American not to give a crap about politics. Still, it's impossible to turn away from these shit fests with our 24 hour a day media. 

Q: Which candidate do you support?

A: It's tough to tell them apart. Though one of them is black, I guess that makes it easier. And the other one is some kind of robot, space alien, or lab-cloned genetic mutant, depending on which email forwarded from your crazy aunt that you choose to inform yourself with. I must say, it's tough to root against the human race. 

Q: So do you implicitly agree with the militant fascist communazi dogma espoused by all mainstream liberal politicians?

A: Conflating all of those ideologies is like getting chocolate in my peanut butter. I'm an American. I don't have time to hate specific things. It's easier to just lump it all together in a big seething pile of raw political thought and see what kind of strange hybrids emerge. That's how I got my plan to require a five day waiting period before the purchase of lawn gnomes. 

That's all for this time, gentle reader. Thanks again for stopping by. When you cast your vote this November, I want you to envision a majestic, soaring eagle, carefully gripping the constitution or perhaps another raggedy document in his talons. And a kicking rock ballad is blaring in the background as the eagle swoops majestically over both purple mountains majesty and amber waves of grain. Then go ahead and vote for whatever retard you feel like.

Stay tuned for more futile imagery from the Doctor!