Friday Q&A

Questionable Comparison

Greetings, crickets and trolls. Welcome to another edition of the Friday Q&A, Friday's most trusted name in blogging. Thanks for joining me again. As normal for an election year, I've been preoccupied with the race for the Presidency. We've all got a tough choice to make when we cast our vote. This week, I'll be taking an unbiased look at the candidates, both Obama and the unlikeable Republican billionaire robot trying to replace him.

Q: What do you know about Obama?

A: Barrack Saddam Hussein Obama was born in a far away country called Hawaii, many years ago. His Communist Nazi father saw, in young Barrack, a way to strike back at the evil fascist corporatist capitalist optometrist US government. His son would groomed to run the highest office in the land. Or, if none of the media conglomerates were looking for CEOs at the time, President of the United States. 

Q: What do you know of his challenger?

A: Mitt Romney is a conservative politician who is often referred to as a moron. His moron faith guides every decision he makes. This is an odd sight to behold for most Americans. We're used to Presidents like George W. Bush, who never made mistakes and clearly was an actual human person. Not some sort of botched alien replicant test tube error.

Q: How do the candidates differ?

A: Depending on whom you listen to, both of them want to destroy the world. This is good news for people who hate the world. Until they realize that most politicians never deliver. You can't trust a politico to destroy something like the world, that's where most of their campaign donations come from. Besides that, we know that Mitt Romney once killed a dog with his bare hands, and that Obama personally smoked bath salts out of a bong made from the hollowed out skull of William Howard Taft. And that was just last week.

That's all for this time, gentle reader. Thanks again for stopping by. Regardless of how you cast your vote this November, in someone's eyes you are damning humanity to either the cruel bootheel of commufacism or the tedious whims of the oligarchs. Choose wisely.

Stay tuned for more important decisions from the Doctor!