Friday Q&A

Questionable Validation

Greetings, crickets and trolls. Welcome back to another edition of the Friday Q&A. Thanks for joining me once again. I'm glad you're here. Assuming you agree with me about Photoshop, of course. And why wouldn't you? After all, I'm always right. You could set your watch by my moral certitude.

Q: Did Mr Squirrel fix the Scrutinizer?

A: Yes, indeed. Vote whores can breathe a sigh of relief, as the Scrutinizer is once again keeping track of our Photoshop contest entries. As you're not doubt aware, the site has been down for a couple weeks. Thanks to Mr Squirrel for patching up the code.

Q: What did you learn during the Scrutinizer blackout?

A: Absolutely nothing. Learning would imply that I had not previously attained a level of unparalleled mental perfection. However, I'm not blind to the lessons imparted unto lesser individuals. Hopefully, a couple weeks of having your work vanish into the ether sent a message about the transient nature of what we do. Photoshop threads are quickly forgotten, regardless of their brilliance. Wins are rarely remembered by anyone but the winner.

Q: Do you have a retraction to announce?

A: Unfortunately yes. Just because I've reached a state of unparalleled mental perfection doesn't mean that I can't occasionally leave out important details. Last week, I stated that Manipster does not display accurate vote totals. What I failed to mention is that the scores are updated after two weeks to reflect a more accurate tally. Thanks to the Manipster team for bringing this information to my attention.

That's all for this time, gentle reader. As usual, I'm glad you stopped by. Before closing this post, I want to once again thank Mr Squirrel for repairing the Scrutinizer. His efforts truly benefit the entire community.

Stay tuned for more obvious truths from the Doctor!

Friday Q&A

Questionable Vacation

Greetings, crickets and trolls. Welcome back to another edition of the Friday Q&A. In this regularly occurring feature, I do my best to answer the questions most often asked in our community. At least the ones the don't involve body odor. For the latter, I suggest you try using soap and water, instead of nothing.

Q: The Scrutinizer!

A: That's not really a question, but I feel your pain. In case some of you have been hibernating, we are now in week two of Scrutinizer Crisis 2009. Without a way to archive our Photoshop contest results, the Fark community has been plunged into darkness. Chaos reigns supreme, and armed gangs rule the night. Just kidding, we're getting along fine. Though the gangs may still be a problem in certain parts of California and Washington D.C.

Q: What's the worst part about losing the Scrutinizer?

A: This is a particularly bad time to have it go offline. We had some really high voter turnouts this week. Not to mention a glut of awesome threads to display in the contest browser. Let's hope everything gets repaired soon. Until then, Manipster is updating with no problems. Unfortunately, it still doesn't give an accurate vote count.

Q: Why haven't you updated Cliche City?
Fuck you, TSZ.
A: I'm taking a less hands-on approach than Grampy did. I'll make sure the site functions properly, and will update it whenever I have a chance. However, don't start lobbying to get your favorite cliche added. If Grampy wants to take over, I'll be glad to grant him admin status at the new Cliche City.
Fuck you TSZ.
That's all for this time, gentle reader. Thanks again for stopping by. It's always a pleasure to force my opinions on other people whilst asserting they are inferior. Join me again next week, when I will continue to present the state of affairs in our community. Have a great weekend, and remember to go fuck yourself if you disagree with me.

Stay tuned for more friendly reminders from the Doctor!

Friday Q&A

Questionable Abduction

Greetings, crickets and trolls. Welcome to a special Friday the 13th edition of the Q&A. Wow, another one already? This is the second Friday the 13th in as many months. Such an unlikely occurrence is bound to result in some kind of double-reverse good luck, so this week I've invested my entire paycheck in scratch-and-win lottery tickets. Let's hurry up and get to the questions, so I can claim what's sure to be a huge payout.

Q: What happened to the Scrutinizer?

A: It hasn't been working properly since Fark's URL switch. You might recall my mentioning this change in a previous Q&A. Unfortunately, it appears that Mr Squirrel will need to update his site's code. Be patient, because he's obviously busy with other things right now.

Q: What has this vacation from the Scrutinizer taught you?

A: Mainly that people rely on it too much. Don't get me wrong, I love the Scrutinizer. Its ability to compile a portfolio of our entries is awesome, and tracking stats is a great way to mark one's improvement as a Photoshopper. Unfortunately, comparing these stats is also a great way to act like an elitist fucktard. We all take different paths. Your number of wins or entries does not make you superior to any other contributor. I hope Mr Squirrel's brief delay in fixing the Scrutinizer has given some of you pause as to why we do what we do. If you're only participating in Fark to maintain your place on a list, you're doing it wrong.

Q: Why doesn't Fark track our entries itself?

A: This is the question that's always bothered me. It has never been Mr Squirrel's responsibility or obligation to provide such a service. A few basic changes would allow for some form of Fark-based Scrutinizer. Options could be given to hide or display previous entries in one's profile. With the recent inclusion of visible approved/rejected links, this idea isn't completely outrageous.

That's all for this time, crickets and trolls. Thanks for stopping by. As always, I appreciate your patronage. Unfortunately, it doesn't look like any of my lottery tickets paid off. What a drag! I was really hoping to harness the power of back-to-back Friday the 13ths.

Stay tuned for more optimistic superstition from the Doctor!

Friday Q&A

Questionable Inspiration

Greetings, crickets and trolls. Welcome to another edition of the Friday Q&A. Thanks for joining me once again. In this regular feature, I answer questions relevant to the Fark Photoshop community. And if you disagree with me, I take time to insult your mother. It's all in a day's work.

Q: Where do you get your ideas?

A: I'm always getting asked this question, especially by court-appointed psychiatrists. Photoshopper's Block is a terrible affliction that all PSers will struggle with at some point. Everyone handles it in their own way, but inspiration is never something you can force. My advice is to stimulate your mind, and not in the old-fashioned way of freebasing cocaine. Laughter is the best medicine, followed closely by intense anger. Whilst my hackneyed shenanigans are hardly good for a chuckle, I'll be glad help out by insinuating that your mother was a prostitute.

Q: Why do people leave Fark?

A: The answer to this question has always been a contentious issue in our community. As pretty much anyone will tell you, Photoshoppers tend to come and go. We have our share of veterans, but some of the greatest names on the Honor Roll will never push another pixel for Fark. A few of these bygone PSers graduated to more serious venues. Others are currently engaging in such quaint pursuits as marriage and procreation. To each his own.

Q: Why do some people come back?

A: Everyone has their reasons. Perhaps they found their new venue to be a bit too serious, or they need a release from the horrors of marriage and/or procreation. Once again, to each his own. It should be noted that many Photoshoppers come and go as they please. Not everyone feels the need to announce their retirement, or create a shit storm of sour grapes.

That's all for this time, gentle reader. As usual, thanks for stopping by. It's a pleasure to share my opinions with you. We might not always agree, but that's only because you're stupid and wrong about everything.

Stay tuned for more caustic aspersions from the Doctor!