Holiday Q&A

Questionable Vacation

Greetings, crickets and trolls. I'm vacationing in Japan this week, and will thus refrain from posting my regular column. I usually don't like to travel unless I'm ducking extradition in a third world hell hole like Puerto Rico (which it turns out has been a US territory for several decades, and thus is not the best for hiding from the American justice system).

Since Puerto Rico has fallen under the boot heel of US territorial oppression, I set about finding a new getaway destination. You have no idea how many unpaid tickets I have. It's good to make a contingency plan when you walk on the dark side of the parking enforcement code. I immediately called my travel agent. "It's 3 AM," he said. "How did you get my home number?"

Steve loves to joke like that. Well, I'm pretty sure his name is Steve. I dispensed with the formalities and got straight to business. "Steve," I said. "What's the hottest travel destination on the planet right now? Bali? Ibiza? Spokane, WA?"

"My name is Ted," he replied. "And if you're looking for hot, well, you can't get much hotter than radioactive." His logic made sense. I'm always VERY active with my radio in the summertime months. He went on top explain that fares have fallen dramatically in the northeastern part of Japan. I've booked an all inclusive trip to the luxurious Fukushima Dai-ichi resort and spa. Apparently there's something called Tsunami going on, which I believe is like the Japanese version of Brazil's Carnival.

That's all for this time, gentle reader. Thanks for stopping by. I'll see you again next week for the regular column, or possibly a parody of Lost in Translation, depending on whether or not I can find a Blockbuster video in Japan that will rent me a translated copy of that movie.

Stay tuned for more dated references from the Doctor!